A New Reality

I never really gave a lot of thought to what I now know are the symptoms of Parkinson's Disease. A slight tremor in my hand, a misstep here or there, stiffness and pain, especially in the morning. Getting older isn't necessarily easy! Signing my name was sometimes a little embarrassing, especially when the cute 20 something cashier noticed that I "forgot how to sign my name".

I turned 50 late last year and thought I should get a medical check up. Kinda one of those things you do when you hit a certain age. My doctor had me fill one of those questionnaires entitled something like, "Now that You're 50". As if I needed that reminder. I suppose it constituted a "under the hood" diagnostic check. I just answered the questions, not giving the whole thing any real thought until my doctor started looking over my answers and asking me questions about what I had written. One thing led to another, and before I knew it, I was back in the doctors office a few weeks later to follow up on the blood work that had been done in the interim. At the end of that second visit, my doc said he thought I should see a Neurologist and suggested that maybe, just maybe, I had the symptoms of early onset Parkinson's Disease. Who knew?

A conversation with my mother during this time revealed that Parkinson's is quite prevalent in our family. I was oblivious. Five uncles, and/or cousins, all males, had Parkinson's on my mother's side of the family. Gee, I couldn't have gotten the genes for brains, or good looks, or business acumen instead?

Thus began the journey that reached a milestone on February 15th when my neurologist suggested it was time to start the meds. Not quite what I was expecting that afternoon as my wife and I traveled into his office.

As I reflect upon this short little odyssey, I'm reminded of so many of the OT prophets who always seemed to be asking God, "Why?" Habakkuk asking God, "Why is evil so prevalent? Why do the wicked always seem to win?"

Let's face it, in the pantheon of terrible diseases a person can get, Parkinson's is not the worst disease there is. I have a friend whose father died a couple of years ago from ALS. I'll take Parkinson's. I think of my oldest friend from the days of my youth. His wife is dying, and unless she get's a liver transplant in the not too distant future, there's nothing the doctors can do for her. There's always someone who has it worse than you do. Still, I found myself asking the question, "Why?" Habakkuk, in his questioning of God, eventually came to the place where he remembered God's faithfulness to Israel down through the ages. He began to recount all God had done and that was enough in the face of uncertainty and injustice. Towards the end of Habakkuk, the prophet writes, "I hear, and my body trembles; my lips quiver at the sound; rottenness enters into my bones; my legs tremble beneath me. Yet I will quietly wait..." 3:16.

So, lesson number one from Parkinson's: Quietly Waiting.